3 Most Impactful Tips:
Have the Relationships You Want
As an adult with immigrant parents myself, there were so many things that impacted the ways I viewed the world and how I operated in the world. I spoke two languages (Vietnamese) and had to balance at minimum two cultures and two different expectations, ideas and experiences. It was a process to learn what my needs and what my values are (to obtain the clarity I mentioned before) and feel confident in myself and my decisions with less guilt and fear. With all the work I’ve done on this personally and professionally, I’ve simplified this process for myself and my clients in my Unshaken Confidence™ program.
Since I helped my parents a lot when I was younger, since I knew more English, had more technology skills or what not, I learned to be very responsible and to be a helpful person generally to a lot of people. As I got older, I had to relearn how to do these things in a way where my needs, what I wanted were also taken care of instead of just trying to be helpful to others at my own expense.
The three most impactful things I learned were:
Don’t try to do it all alone.
It’s hard to see the label when you’re inside the bottle. When we’re in it, it can be difficult to get an objective perspective. Whether it’s getting support from your friends, family members, a coach, a therapist or learning through books and podcasts - there are ways to feel less alone and try to get more perspective on your challenges and alternative ways to approach the problems.
For me it helped me so much more to go beyond learning on my own. My personal and professional growth expedited when I reached out for support from people who were able to teach me skills, tips and tools that I was struggling with, or unable to master on my own. Just because as an adult with immigrant parents there were a lot of things we had to learn to do alone, doesn’t mean we need to keep going on the same solo path when there’s a quicker, efficient way to get the same result for you.Be mindful of your thoughts.
Your thoughts are the most powerful things you can pay attention to, to have more control and help you through any situation. Our thoughts play a big role in how we think about things, how we feel and what we think about ourselves. And what we think impacts how we act, how we behave and perform. I truly believe that our thoughts, feelings and behaviors are all connected. So when we are mindful of our thoughts, and practice new thoughts - that helps us with increasing our confidence tremendously.
That’s why I created Unshaken Confidence™ and teach powerful tools to help with managing our thoughts in a way that is most beneficial for us. Because our thoughts are powerful and influential, let’s make sure they’re helping you feel more confident and prepared for any challenges.In order to be more understood, you have to share more.
A misconception I had, and one that many of my clients had is that people should just understand or try to understand me. While that is true, being understood is a two way street and we have to do our role in helping others understand us.
I had some self limiting beliefs (e.g. highlight point #2) that kept me from connecting with people more because I thought people didn’t care or that what I wanted to say wasn’t “important”. In my personal relationships, that hindered me from having the depth and connection that I desired most.
So for anyone wanting these deeper connections, share more. Share a little more, just a little bit more than you’re comfortable with and see how it feels. Of course you can be selective with who you share more with and test the waters. But there are people who want to know what you’re thinking and get to know you, more than you think.
And if you’re struggling with managing these thoughts or knowing where to start, join us in Unshaken Confidence™, we’ve got the support and tools you need.
